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It will happen

by Shanae

My husband and I have been married 5 years.  Going on 6 years this September (2007).  I have never taken a single birth control pill since I've been married and my husband has never worn protection. 

We started trying to conceive in January 2006. Well really we've always been trying to have a baby but we begin to really try in 2006.  I begin by going to doc to get my yearly done.  I explained to him that my husband and I had been married 5 years and I haven't even had symptoms of pregnancy.

Before sending me to a specialist, he gave me a prescription for Clomid.  Every so often I had to go into the office and get blood drawn to see whether I was in ovulatory range. This went on for about 4 months. Nothing happened, no baby.

However, at the same time it seemed as though everybody around me were having babies, even people who weren't trying.

My doc told me that I was ovulating.  So he asked for my husband to go and take a semen test at a local Urology Center. Everything came back good....  but months later, no baby.

So, my doc recommended us to a ART program. I fill out the papers and sent them in.  I received a call from the ART office that my insurance did not cover it because they considered ART services as a "pre-existing" illness (infertility). The cost for these services was in the thousands of dollars.  Even just the doctor visits were hundreds of dollars alone. I could not afford to pay for these services out-of-pocket. So I felt it was just not meant to be for us to have kids.

So, I begin to just give up.  When family and friends asked me about kids, I would just say, "No, I don't want any kids. At least not right now," or something like "Maybe later on".  But deep inside I yearned to have a child.  It hurt so bad to admit we were trying and had not been successful, I just begin to hid the pain by denying the fact that I wanted one.

There was a lot of emotional turmoil going on inside me. I felt less than a woman because I begin to believe that I could not have a child.  I begin to withdraw from my husband, I

didn't want to have sex, I was offensive when people talked about having kids and so many other things I was going through. 

So I just completely gave up and said to myself, "Hey I'm 27 years old, my husband is 28 years old, we are getting old, so we might as well adopt".  I never went through with it... 

But one day, I was reading a story online, just like you are today.  And a young lady stated something that stuck with me.  She stated, "It will happen ONLY when it is meant to be."  After I read that, I got up out of my pity party and begin working on my baby again. 

Now, I'm 2 months pregnant!!! And I feel so blessed that I went through all of that so that I could have a testimony for all of you!!!!

I just wanted to encourage all the women who are trying to conceive, to hold on and never give up.  If you want a baby DON'T EVER GIVE UP, NEVER!!  Keep trying and trying and trying until it happens, because it will.  When it’s time, when it’s meant to be, IT WILL HAPPEN.