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A story of love and loss

by Misty Holder

Well my story is probably going to be a little different that the rest, but I would like to share it to let people know that these kinds of thinks really do happen and there is not enough done to prevent it....

I found out in May of 2005 that my husband and I where expecting again after having a miscarriage 2 months before. (I was 6 weeks) We were so happy and a little nervous also. The pregnancy was going just as planned. I got my first ultrasound and everything looked perfect. During my whole pregnancy everything went just as planned I was getting bigger and so excited to see my new little girl. We had the nursery painted and all the new furniture and all of the clothes washed and my bags where packed at 37 weeks pregnant. We were so ready for this.

On February 15th I started to go into labor and I knew it would take a while, so we waited until the pains where stronger and closer together. Well they did get stronger and stronger and stronger so we decided to go since we have a little over an hour drive.

We arrived at about 12:00am at the hospital. They put me in a room and a nurse came in to listen to the heartbeat and put the monitor on. Much to my surprise there was no heartbeat. Then they came in with an ultrasound machine to make sure everything was ok and again no heartbeat. We were devastated. All of my hopes and dream where all ripped away from me. My baby was dead!!!

What most people do not realize is even though my baby was dead I still had to deliver her just like any other parent would. So I did. I delivered a beautiful baby girl. She looked so perfect in everyway. She just looked as if she was sleeping. She was stillborn at 39 weeks 2 days.

This whole experience has changed my life and I feel like a much better person since I have been through all of this. I have learned to appreciate the little things in life, and I do not take any thing for granted. Life is short. I never dwell on the little things that make life hard. I love my daughter very much and I thank her for helping me be the person I am today.

Thank you for letting me share my story.